The 'Do It Yourself" Economy Could Change How We Elect the President

 

 

Jever notice how the English language is changing right before our very ears? It is.

For example..can you define that new word “Jever”? Jever…. J -E- V- E- R…it’s an everyday word used by thousands of people everyday. Jever---it’s short for Did you Ever.

For example: “Jever notice how the English language is changing right before our very ears?

“Filler-rup” …is another expression of the new English. Filler- rup. It means fill the gas tank in your car. Filler-rup.

This word may fall into dis-use because who can afford to filler-rup these days?

 

“Service Stations”......(PRONOUNCED SERVE-US)....... .used to filler-rup for us. When we went into buy gasoline for our car, they would give us service. As you pulled up to the pump there was a guy waiting, even before you had the window down.

Filler-rup sir? Oh what beautiful words they were. Filler-rup sir? Generally you had a five dollar bill in your pocket and couldn’t afford a filler-rup so you’d say

No thanks…ten gallons please.

The attendant would start your gas pumping and then he’d run around the front of our car and clean your windshield. Then he’d ask you if you wanted him to check your oil. After you got your ten gallons, you got change back.

SERVE-US. That’s what the oil companies used to give us….now we serve them. It’s gone from SERVE-US Stations to SERVE-THEM stations. Now we’re the servers and they are the servees.

We drive up to the pump, we get out of the car and we pump it for the oil company. Do they pay us for this service?…. they do not! We serve them and we pay them.

And that five dollar bill. It stays in your pocket now, cause you can’t buy much of anything with it. You have to whip out a credit card and hit it hard for about fifty bucks…because now we have to fill our tank. We don’t dare not to…because the price might go up 25 cents a gallon tomorrow.

 

 

It’s pretty bad folks. But it could get worse. What if this “Serve-them” philosophy spreads to other parts of our lives.

Picture a newlywed couple going to the bank….

The banker says, “congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you are now the proud owners of a beautiful 3 bedroom, two bath ranch plan. Now, Next Tuesday on your lot, you will find all the tools and materials you need to build your house. Good Luck.”

Under the new “Serve-them” economy, you’d have to pay full price for your house and then build it yourself!

The worst is yet to come. Our Mr. and Mrs. Smith decide to have a baby. The big day comes and Mrs. Smith shouts out, “Honey, get me to the hospital quick. It’s time!

He dashes out and gets the car, bundles her in and takes off for the hospital like a fire truck. They get to the main entrance, rush in, and a nurse says, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith. We are so glad you’re here. Your room is the first one on the left. There’s a table in there with books, hot water, sponges, tools, and everything else you’ll need to deliver your own baby. Good luck with that.”

Even the entertainment business might become part of the SERVE-THEM economy. What if our Mr. Smith got tickets for Letterman? He would be greeted at the entrance by an usher who would say,

“Welcome Mr. Smith to the show. Now you’ll find everything you need to do the show, on a table over there on the stage. There’s some joke books, a couple of old bits Dave didn’t want to do, and an assortment of rubber chickens. Good luck with the program."

If this happened, Mr. Smith would find out the true meaning of “Dying” on stage. The poor guy would expire from fright. They’d carry him off to the funeral home. His wife would walk in with tears running down her cheeks and the funeral director would say,

“Mrs. Smith, I’m so sorry about your husband. What a terrible way to go…dying onstage. The funeral home wants to do everything we can for you. Around back you’ll find picks and shovels and everything else you’ll need. Good luck with digging that grave."

Hey, what if this thing spreads to politics. There’d be no more year long campaigns for the presidency. They’d just wait for somebody to show up at the White House on a Monday morning…..first person thru the door…that’s the new president!

It could be anybody. What if the first person to walk in was Paris Hilton?

The white house staff would say…”Welcome miss Hilton. There’s a table over there in the oval office with everything you need to run the country. There’s a row of buttons on the top of the table. Push the first button if you want all out nuclear war. Push the second button if you want a little war that drags on for years and costs about two billion dollars a day.

You’ll notice other buttons…with labels like poverty programs, education programs….. Don’t push those buttons. They’ve been disconnected!